The CONSCIENCE of a CHICKENHAWK, 2006

For Andrew Sullivan and his Ilk.

"In retrospect, I'd have to say
I've been a sorry fool.
Those Neocons led me astray,
And used me as their tool."

"I was 'too trusting,' too afraid,
Like children in the night,
And so I hopped on Bush's train
And bellowed 'Fight, team, fight!'"

"When some said 'This preemptive war's
Illegal and unrighteous,'
I brayed 'You're traitors, Saddam's whores,
And buddies of al-Qaeda's!'"

"When some said, 'We'll be there for years,
And make things worse by staying,'
I stuck my fingers in my ears
And drowned them out by braying."

"I guess Bush shoulda had a plan
And listened to advice
From sources more discerning than
Doug Feith, Rumdum and Rice."

"In retrospect, my 'punditry'
Almost makes me ashamed.
(I'll throw in here an R.I.P.
For thousands dead and maimed.)"

"Although the slaughter, blood and waste
And crooked enterprise
And blowback of this war were based
On 'errors' (don't say 'lies!'),"

"And though perhaps I have deserved
Discredit and derision,
I don't regret the tour I served
In the Chickenhawk Division."

I'll still maintain the noble dream
That it’s our destiny
To liberate ragheads till they scream
And spread Democracy.

"Because the damage is not mine;
'Collateral' means 'unreal.'
A Chickenhawk is always fine
With pain he doesn't feel."

"You see, because our cause was just,
Somehow, this devastation,
Lies, torture, theft and...pixie dust
Will build a brand-new nation."

"Well, now my mea culpa's made,
I feel less sore and vexed
In fact I'm all hot to invade -
Look out, Iran; you're next."