The Ballad of the National Guard Bonus

01/25/05

Hello, boys and girls! Today
I'm here to offer Fifteen K
To each and every one of you
Who wants to serve and be true-blue.

Hello, soldier in the V.A. hall!
Too bad you lost your arm and all.
Here's a safety pin for your sleeve,
Oh, and Soldier, before you leave,

Pay this, or you won't get far:
It's a bill for the blown-up car,
Your missing rifle, and back pay
You haven't earned since explosion day!

It comes to right around fifteen grand.
Gee, we're sorry about your hand.
Your Purple Heart? Don't have it here;
We'll mail it. When your check has cleared.